As I watched the much-hyped movie Bridesmaids, my mood shifted radically several times as the films's events unraveled. Giddy and high-spirited at one moment, needy and paranoid the next. Considerate it an oddity of mine, but I have always been hypersensitive to movies with happy endings.
Lest this sounds like criticism, allow me to resolve the obscurity of my comment. The movie is undeniably charming and well worth the hype, but it will take you across a spectrum of emotions, and your memories will interfere with your sense, and before you know it, you're in an accelerated life comprehension program that you didn't sign up for, but never the less, must process.
Never have I felt compelled to write about a movie, nor do I claim to be qualified to critique one, but this inaptly dubbed 'chick-flick' will melt your heart as it wells up your tear ducts, securing its place in the hearts of all those who watch, male or female, but it certainly speaks on a different level to its female audience.
The comedy in disguise - the brain child of SNL Alum Kristiin Wiig and Annie Mumolo about an oddball group of women brought together by the duty to serve as bridesmaids at a friend's wedding - will undoubtedly induce sidesplitting laughter in which many of us haven't experienced since, oh I don't know, My Cousin Vinny? But the movie deals with so much more; friendship, failure, jealousy, pain and rebirth.. To think that you could walk away from this movie without moments of self-deprecation is hopelessly naive. It exposes about 10 profound levels of insecurity and forces self awareness to the forefront, and in my case, forced me back to the land of remorse. Remorse at fleeting moments, lost friendships, desperate rivalry, and failed experiences.
The paradox stems from the simple yet complex relationship between its characters, making it difficult to unhook oneself from a complex web of feelings, reminding us all that we are human. We’ve all experienced moments of good gone bad, of vulnerability, we’ve all experienced failure, we’ve all wanted to hide in our parents' basement at some point in our life, and we have all spent a good chunk of time wallowing in misery and self pity.
For me, being a woman, wallowing in pity is a preexisting condition. The years since I left my parents’ nest have been unkind. A fair chunk of my life has been categorized by a great deal of failure and loss and subsequently, misery. There are few times in my life when I have received unconditional compassion.
But then I learned the strategies of repression and diversion and I learned to engage myself with details, at a price of going through life anesthetized. In a way, I allowed my soul to quit. I rationalized that maybe it is my share in life.. or maybe it is life.
Suddenly, one flick, and the ability to detach from a situation isn't working anymore, and I realize that going through life emotionally-botoxed is no longer an option. Just like Annie, the movie's lead, I knew it was time to remove the weight of the past.
The door that was slammed, locked and bolted a long time ago, is now wide open, ready to enjoy the sights, tastes and the sweet thrills of life, ready to make amends, and move beyond past failures.
I left the movie a changed person. I returned home both transformed and also lost in ways that no one but me could understand, determined to get my happy ending.
Lest this sounds like criticism, allow me to resolve the obscurity of my comment. The movie is undeniably charming and well worth the hype, but it will take you across a spectrum of emotions, and your memories will interfere with your sense, and before you know it, you're in an accelerated life comprehension program that you didn't sign up for, but never the less, must process.
Never have I felt compelled to write about a movie, nor do I claim to be qualified to critique one, but this inaptly dubbed 'chick-flick' will melt your heart as it wells up your tear ducts, securing its place in the hearts of all those who watch, male or female, but it certainly speaks on a different level to its female audience.
The comedy in disguise - the brain child of SNL Alum Kristiin Wiig and Annie Mumolo about an oddball group of women brought together by the duty to serve as bridesmaids at a friend's wedding - will undoubtedly induce sidesplitting laughter in which many of us haven't experienced since, oh I don't know, My Cousin Vinny? But the movie deals with so much more; friendship, failure, jealousy, pain and rebirth.. To think that you could walk away from this movie without moments of self-deprecation is hopelessly naive. It exposes about 10 profound levels of insecurity and forces self awareness to the forefront, and in my case, forced me back to the land of remorse. Remorse at fleeting moments, lost friendships, desperate rivalry, and failed experiences.
The paradox stems from the simple yet complex relationship between its characters, making it difficult to unhook oneself from a complex web of feelings, reminding us all that we are human. We’ve all experienced moments of good gone bad, of vulnerability, we’ve all experienced failure, we’ve all wanted to hide in our parents' basement at some point in our life, and we have all spent a good chunk of time wallowing in misery and self pity.
For me, being a woman, wallowing in pity is a preexisting condition. The years since I left my parents’ nest have been unkind. A fair chunk of my life has been categorized by a great deal of failure and loss and subsequently, misery. There are few times in my life when I have received unconditional compassion.
But then I learned the strategies of repression and diversion and I learned to engage myself with details, at a price of going through life anesthetized. In a way, I allowed my soul to quit. I rationalized that maybe it is my share in life.. or maybe it is life.
Suddenly, one flick, and the ability to detach from a situation isn't working anymore, and I realize that going through life emotionally-botoxed is no longer an option. Just like Annie, the movie's lead, I knew it was time to remove the weight of the past.
The door that was slammed, locked and bolted a long time ago, is now wide open, ready to enjoy the sights, tastes and the sweet thrills of life, ready to make amends, and move beyond past failures.
I left the movie a changed person. I returned home both transformed and also lost in ways that no one but me could understand, determined to get my happy ending.
We can travel a long way and do many things, but our deepest happiness is not born from accumulating new experiences. it is born from letting go of what is unnecessary, and knowing ourselves to be always at home.
- Sharon Salzberg
No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara de Angelis
2 comments:
Wow-Wow! First, I was excited to see a new post :) Second, you have single-handedly reaffirmed my belief in and affection for phenomenology! I saw this movie and got none of this from it, but with the context and affinity you wrapped it, it is rolling back in my mind with a different texture. Thank you, I loved this.
Amazing that you can get excited at my ramblings! For that I'll be eternally grateful.
Perception is poweful tool, my friend.
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